Siri-ously?

Here are a few of my favorite Siri-isms. If you have funny ones, send them to me at colleen.j.stocks@gmail.com and I'll post them.

Some Thoughts

This picture was recently posted on one of my facebook friend's wall. I've seen it a few times, and it always irked me a bit, but I really didn't think about why until the last few days. After the pepper spray incedent at my alma mater, I saw it again, on a fellow alumna's fb page no less, and I just couldn't keep quiet anymore. I posted a respectful comment on how I thought the picture was offensive, and she promptly deleted my comment, which she has every right to do, though it irked me even more.

If you can't see what is says:
"I have a steady job with a regular paycheck, great benefits, and a lot of room for promotion. Next year I will be paid to go to college and graduate with a guaranteed position making a decent salary. I am the 1% of the 99% that decided hard work and sacrifice were more prudent than complaining about how life is hard and I'm not getting any free handouts."

I do want to preface this with a few words. I have absolutely no problem with the military or our troops. In fact, I have several close friends and family currently serving and I support them wholeheartedly. My support of our troops is one of the main reasons this upsets me as much as it does.

The note starts off great, and as I read it, I think it will end so much differently, but then at the end, the whole things comes back and slaps me in the face.

The reasons this photo gets me all hot and bothered (and not in a good way):
1. I feel completely betrayed. I support your decision to go into the military and serve our country, I have sent care packages to troops, I would donate to veterans organizations if I could afford to. I have always respected soldiers and never been anti-war protester flower child or anything of the like. I went to school, worked my butt off, graduated from a fantastic school in just over 3 years and with honors. I currently work 2 jobs to make ends meet and and still owe what amounts to a brand new car for my education. I just recently got health insurance (I graduated 3 years ago), and not from my own jobs, but from my husband's, and I pay quite a bit for it. After I graduated college, I applied to a smorgasbord of companies and positions, including Starbucks barista. I was offered none. I only got a job as a favor from my parents and was paid far less than I expected. I had to move back in with my parents to make ends meet, and even then was just scraping by. I am not lazy, nor do I want any free handouts. I just want a chance.

2.The point of the protest is that we all want what he has: An affordable education (or free, no actually PAID, in his case), healthcare, a guaranteed position making a decent salary, etc. What makes it even worse is that I, as a taxpayer, pay for all of this for him. Which I am okay with, but please do not tell me I am lazy while paying for your free education as well as my own. The students at UCD are not lazy. To be accepted in a UC is a big deal, and they did not get there by slacking off. These are the future great minds of our country. All that they want is a chance at what you have. They are your sisters and brothers, and they support you, we support you. Why don't you support us?

3. Unemployment is highest in returning veterans. This is their problem too. If what the soldier says in the picture is true, I would have to infer that as soon as soldiers are discharged and unemployed that they are instantly lazy, afraid of hard work, and all they want are handouts. This is absurd, right?

I hope that the issue may just be that these soldiers are so isolated from what's going on here that they don't quite understand the situation. I am aware that not everyone in the military shares this soldier's sentiment, but it seems to be a popular one in our country's military. I have noticed the same opinions in some of older folks as well. I sincerely hope that they can look at this for what it is, and hear our voices. We don't want anything crazy, we just want to be heard, and to have a chance at the "American Dream" like those before us did. We are tired of lining the pockets of the super rich and huge corporations that care nothing for us. We are tired of doing everything "right" and coming out with nothing but debt. 

Family Cruise!

 I recently got home from a family cruise and thought I'd post some pictures. It was a bit chillier than we had hoped, so no sipping fruity drinks by the pool, but it was a great time to reconnect with the family. I only have a few pictures (and only of me and Danielle, but will post more soon!

IF

I totally stole this form my sister-in-law's blog, Ellyphant

•If I could have any job in the world... I'd be a traveling food critic with an awesome show, like Anthony Bourdain, and host it with Brady.
•If I had a day to myself...I have everyday to myself. I work out, tan, write, and work.
•If I could get married all over again...I'd have a smaller, more intimate (cheaper) wedding. But my wedding was pretty awesome!
•If I could live anywhere in the US...like Kaci, I'd be back in Cali, and preferably in the mountains and by the beach. Santa Cruz?.
•If I could have any talent in the world I would like to be able to...sing. I really, really, really wish I could sing. Like really.
•If I could go back to school I would...maybe go pre-med? or something in the health field..or maybe culinary school, haha.
•If money were not an object..I'd travel the world, then buy a ranch and ride off into the sunset. :)
•If I could meet one celebrity...I would meet David Sedaris. I love his books and would love to hang out and pick his brain.
•If I could only shop at one store for the rest of my life it'd be...Whole Foods. So delicious. I'm sure I could make clothes outta something there...meh who cares.
•If we get another pet...I really want a horse, I miss riding so much. I feel so at peace on a horse riding out in nature.
•If I could go on a trip, RIGHT NOW, I'd want to go to...just about anywhere overseas! Europe, Asia, South America, Africa, Austrailia...I love to travel!!!
•If I had to chose between a maid and a personal chef, I'd pick...Ooo that's tough. A chef to cook my healthy food would be awesome, but so would a maid to clean up after the girls and the hubster. Hmmm.. How about a maid when I don't feel like cleaning and a chef when I don't feel like cooking? :)
•If I had the option of plastic surgery...I have to say, even though there are parts of me I'm not thrilled with, the thought of going under the knife freaks me out, so that's a no.

Nevada Theology

This past Sunday we decided to try out one of the local churches. I found a list online--it was quite long considering this town is only a little larger than my old high school. We crossed out the ones we were already late for, and then headed out. We pulled up to our first choice after going around the block a few times, missing it as it looked like a small house. There were a grand total of 4 cars in the "parking lot." We looked at each other and decided to try the next one. I hate being clearly a guest and introduced to everyone and their aunt, sister, cousin, daughter-in-law and pet hamster, all while I'm trying to look super excited and sneaking my hand sanitizer as there are invariably 6 sick people sneezing and coughing their way through service. I digress...

We headed out of to the next one, which was much larger, but clearly Catholic (due to actually attractive architecture), which is fine, but we aren't Catholic. Then comes the biggest one in town, the LDS church. Can I say "hell no!?" That sounds terrible, but ya, not going there... Anyway, we found one that looked inviting enough, and had like 8 cars in the parking lot, woot woot! It was called New Hope Foursquare Church. I like hope, and I used to play foursquare, so we thought, what the heck, let's try it.

We were 36 minutes late, but it's hard to be on time when you have no clue when it starts (if you are wondering how we found out, we asked a random lady walking in what time service started). We stepped into the bright foyer and looked into the sanctuary, which, to our unadjusted eyes, looked pitch black. Are they normal? Dancing with snakes? All 500 years old? We stepped into the darkness blindly, or rather, Brady pulled me into it. We self consciously slipped into the 3rd row (of 5) and surveyed our surroundings as the preacher said hello. I hated that we were called out in front of everyone, but as we were sitting less than 5 feet from where he was preaching, it probably would have been more awkward if he ignored us.

The sanctuary was small, but nicely decorated, and the congregation looked pretty normal if not for one little thing--there were kids. Everywhere. Like a lot of them. Everyone had at least 2, and they were all under 6. Wow, I thought, I'd better (or rather, we'd better) get busy to keep up with these folks. Brady looked a little nervous, he kept looking at them as they ran around and made little kid noises, occasionally looking at me like, "What the heck?!" I just smiled and told him to try to ignore them, which was challenging at best. The preacher looked about our age, and it became evident that 2 of the little rugrats were his. Every so often they would go up to him and he would acknowledge them and then tell them to go back and sit next to their (extremely pregnant) mommy.

I actually kind of like that the kids were in the service, it made it kind of homey, like we were all gathered in someone's living room. After a brief sermon (on parenting, of course) we got to chat with a few folks and the preacher invited us over for dinner in a few weeks (after the baby is born). The church culture was so different than the South. Everyone wore jeans, and several people wore boots. The brothel, gambling, and drinking were all brought up casually with and/or by the preacher, things that would have any good Southern Belle blushing. Thank goodness I'm no Southern Belle. We plan on going back, though we do not plan on adding anymore than 2 to the congregation, for the time being at least. ;-)

Wow, I HATE customer service

So I recently ordered DSL and DirectTV though ATT and for some inexplicable reason my name is correct on my DirectTV account but they have me as "Pauline" on my DSL stuff. I have no idea how this happened as I think I spelled my name 15 times for the rep and the bill is bundled, but hey, it happens. I HATE calling customer service, so I thought I would take advantage of the chat support ATT offers. Apparently this was not a good idea.

Prior to being connected, I entered my name and the cause of my issue: Incorrect name on account. Here is what followed:

System

Welcome Mr. Colleen Stocks.

System

Connecting to server. Please wait...

System

Connection with server established.

System

Technical Support Topic: Account Maintenance

System

ADRIAN has joined this session!

System

Connected with ADRIAN

ADRIAN

Thank you for choosing AT&T Internet Services. My name is Adrian (rg844j).

ADRIAN

I see that I am chatting with Mr. Colleen Stocks and you provided *&$*#))$&^ as the number associated with your DSL/Dial account. Am I correct?

You

yes

You

Ms. Colleen Stocks actually

ADRIAN

Thank you for the confirmation.

You

my acct. number is #$(#&(#&$(&#@@

ADRIAN

Thank you for the confirmation.

ADRIAN

I apologize I am not able to pull up the account.Are you using U-verse services?

You

No, DSL, account number (&(&(&#%(&#&@&

You

My name is incorrect on my account

You

it says "Pauline" instead of "Colleen"

ADRIAN

Alright.

ADRIAN

Thank you for the information.

ADRIAN

How can I make you a very satisfied customer today?

You

I would like my name corrected firstly

You

and also I wanted to ask about why I lose service occasionally on my DSL

ADRIAN

I apologize for the inconvenience you have experienced due to this issue.

You

no problem, I just wanted to ask about it

ADRIAN

May I know where do you want to change the name.

You

I'm not sure I understand what you mean.

You

All of the mail I have received says "Pauline" and that is not my name

ADRIAN

I am sorry, I am not able to understand where do you want to want to correct your name.

ADRIAN

Could you please explain me little more.

ADRIAN

Alright.

You

THe mail I have received regarding my new DSL account is addressed to "Pauline Stocks." My name is actually "Colleen Stocks." It rhymes so I guess the rep wrote it incorrectly when I signed up

ADRIAN

Okay.

ADRIAN

In order to correct the name, you need to contact our billing department, we have a dedicated department to change the name in our records.

ADRIAN

I would request you to please contact our Billing department and they will provide you the accurate information. You can contact them at 1-800-288-2020 (toll free) between M-F 8am-7pm CT, Sat: 8am-5pm CT, Sun: Closed

You

awesome thx

ADRIAN

We are high speed Internet technical support.

You

i thought u might be able to help, peace out

More funny signage!

The Laundromat

So, as today was laundry day, I headed off to the (only) laundromat. I should've gone 1st thing, but, me being me, I procrastinated until about noon. I recently read an article about procrastination that said that the reason I, a procrastinator, procrastinate is that I am afraid that I will not perform perfectly, and delay the action so that I may have an excuse as to why the finished product was not exemplary. "If I had only had more time..." the procrastinator laments. I loved this article, as it meant that I was not lazy, o no, far from it. I was a perfectionist. That is much more honorable vice. As I found things around the trailer to do this morning, my newfound revelation began to crumble before my very eyes. Was I really insecure about my laundry abilities? Was my anxiety about choosing the correct water temperature or adding too much soap really delaying my laundry duty? I would hope not. If I had only gone to the laundromat earlier, these socks would be much better paired. Or perhaps not. Perhaps I just don't like going?

When I finally did go, I found myself alone. This surprised me, as last week I had many laundry-doing companions. I reveled in this unknown side-effect of my procrastination. Maybe I could actually do my laundry in solitude, and read my Sedaris in peace. I got my wish for about 5 minutes when in waddles in a cheery lady in her 60s. She remarks about how few people there are, and no children, to which I remark, "Yes, it's quite nice isn't it? It was so quiet when I got here." She did not read into my (not so) subtle comment, and start chatting to me about how many blouses she had to wash and her husband hanging these to dry and on and on.

She finally leaves and I get into another essay about death when enters angry wife beater man. I do not mean that I assumed that he beat his wife (rather I assumed that he did not have one) but merely that he wore a "wife-beater" style tee shirt. He forcefully shoved his laundry into a machine, then started cursing when is did not take his money correctly. "Why the f*** does this machine NEVER take money right?" he yelled, slamming his fist on the top of the washer. "Why the f*** do you ALWAYS use it, then?" I thought, but "Finicky, huh?" was all I said. He responded with a grunt and a look he shot me, like "Ya, that's the understatement of the year."

He finally leaves and in comes his polar opposite, uber-cheery clean shaven man, with the biggest permanent smile on his face. He greets me with his ridiculously happy face and cheerily informs me that there are some kids giving away chihuahua/pitbull puppies outside. I commented that I'd like to know how that one happened to which he laughed and said he asked the kids the same question, but they didn't really answer, since, ya know, they are kids.

After I was done folding my laundry, my curiosity was peaked, so I went to see these freak of nature puppies. They were cute, 2 looked like pits and 2 more like chihuahuas, but all were underweight and filthy, and they had no water. I talked to the boys for a while, and shot menacing glares at their mother sitting in the car, her conscience in my opinion somewhere between that of a serial killer and child molester. I went inside and asked the checker if they had any small bowls or cups I could put water in for the poor, starving, helpless puppies outside. She thought for a minute and told me that no, they did not. I thought, bullshit, of course you do you little brat. "Well," I said, "I see you have a soda fountain there, may I have a cup and some water?" so I can throw it in your face? I continued in my head. "O well then I'll have to charge you 25 cents." O you'll have to, really? Like who exactly is forcing you to withhold water from poor starving puppies? Hitler himself? "OK," I said, and handed her a quarter.

Things are looking up, except for the bug thing...

Yesterday was MUCH better! I got the printer working (found a cord in storage), got my presentation (re)done, the whole project completed, and watched a movie with B. Definitely an improvement on Tuesday.

Something interesting did happen the other day though (I can't remember which day, Monday maybe?). Anyway, I took the girls out for a walk in the afternoon and this gold-ish fly thing kept chasing me. At first it was just annoying, but I started to become alarmed when it would not leave me alone and when it landed on me, I felt a sharp pain, not like stinging, but like it was cutting or scratching me, ouch! This kinda freaked me out so I tried to pick up the pace, but with 3 dogs that can be a bit challenging...

Anyway, I got back to the trailer, and safely inside, I forgot about the whole thing. Later that night (or the next morning? wow my memory is shot) I noticed a few sore spots on me shoulder and neck (which I initially thought were spider bites). Finally, yesterday I put it all together and figured out is was the pesky fly that got me; so what did I do? I googled it, duh. This is what the little meanie looks like (on a very hairy person, haha):Apparently they are in the same family as horseflies and the females slice your skin and lap up your blood. Loverly. Did I mention they carry a whole host of diseases? Awesome... Their saliva (used as and anticoagulant) usually produces a moderate to severe allergic reaction in humans. Hence the sore, angry welts on my skin.

Anyway, with that National Geographic moment out of the way, I must bid you adieu. I have to go into Elko for some errands today. Wish me luck! :)

Coco's having a bad day

Well, today is one of those days...I think I should just go back to bed.

I got up the walk the girls and Shasta did her dirt flinging thing all over me, which annoyed me. Then as I was watching Ruby, the girls saw a bunny and just about jerked my arm off, majorly tweaking my bad shoulder. So, fed up, I decided to head back and get a cup of tea and try to chill a little before getting started on today's work. No. Such. Luck.

I got back to the trailer and tugged at the door. Locked. WTH? Sh*t. So I contemplated my options and decided to go in through the window, which worked (with a little help from the neighbors).

OK, all better, right? Not even close. I sat down for a while with my tea and though surely this would be the end of my bad luck for the day. So I decided to hook up the shiny new printer the in-laws got us so I could do several things that required its use. I then realized a) I had no paper, and b) I needed a USB cable. OK, so off to town, those are basic, eay-to-find things, right? Wrong. I finally found a ream of paper pretty quickly, yay success!! (though it cost $7, which is ridiculous). NO ONE had a USB cable, I even tried the truck stop... I just can't see driving 50 miles for a $2 cord, but I just might have to.

Resigned to the fact that I was not going to find the cable today, I decided I needed a little well deserved girl time, so I thought I'd get my eyebrows waxed (strange I enjoy a stranger ripping hair off my face, isn't it?). Anyway, I find a cute looking salon and walk in (there was a large sign advertising that walk-ins are welcome I might add). Inside, there is one girl (who is on the phone) doing someone's nails. Coco's #? pet peeve (I have quite a few, haha), do NOT talk on the phone while performing a service for someone, it's soooo rude. The customer looks up and says, "hi." I returned her greeting, expecting the shop girl to say some thing to me. Instead, she gets more into her phone call, and, visibly annoyed with whoever is on the other line, and starts speaking even louder and more aggressively. Ok, I thought, maybe this is a really important call, I'll wait a second. So I stand there, and stand there, and stand there. Finally, I get on my phone and start texting, trying to look peeved with my bodly languange, to no effect. After another few minutes, I leave. Seriously lady? You could have at least told me you were going to be a while. Peace out.

Salon #2. I walk in, hoping to find someone who at least acknowledge my existence. The salon is empty, but I hear voices. "Helllooo?" Someone comes out to tell me everyone is on vacation, but hands me a card. "Call her" she says and apologizes. Ok...

Salon #3. Finally! A nice, staffed salon that was happy to have my business! Yay! Success!!!

Feeling (and looking) better, I come home, finally ready to finish up my project for work. I open up the computer, click on the presentation, and up pops...nothing. NOOOOOO!!!! Really?!?!

Which brings me to right now. And it's only noon.

WTF pics from our 20 months in GA

I decided to put together some of the funniest pics from my iphoto album from our time in GA. I have a thing for signs, and I saw some great ones while we were there. Others are just things that struck me for whatever reason. There are more, but I thought this was a good start. All were taken by yours truly. :)

No comment needed

Why is it that the girls least likely to be playboy bunnies get this tattoo?

So I only know of 2 kinds of "stools." Poo and those things you sit on. Not things you sit on to poo...

My personal favorite. And no, I wasn't the one who corrected their grammar.

A shirt at Target that mocked me...

This was actually in North Carolina..only in the South...

Not a southern thing, but found at Publix

Another favorite of mine. At the gas station close to where I used to work.

In case you didn't know, moonshine is real. And this lovely "shop" was at the gas station.

Butts County, GA :)

mmmm I love me some BBQ booty!!

Well, that's all for now, hope you enjoyed it!!!

Break from workie-work!

Hello all,

I'm just talking a quick break form working on my 2nd project for my new consulting job, woot woot!! I met a teacher here at the coffee shop and asked her about subbing, She said that they are dying for subs and that I should go over to the district office 1st thing on Monday to sign up. I'm super stoked!! She told me that they only have classes Mon-Thurs, which is interesting. Even if I only sub a few times a month, I think I will be good to get out a little and meet people (even if they are kids, lol). School doesn't start for another month, but I'm excited. I miss interaction with humans.. the girls don't talk to me as much as I'd like ;)

Here's a fun pic of the neighbors...anybody wanna guess what this is? (Sorry it's at a weird angle, taking pics while walking dogs isn't as easy as it sounds)

Well, I better get back to it..

Have a great day all!

Another morning in BM, another chai...

Well, today is Brady's first official day at work. He had training Monday and yesterday, so today he got up at 3:30 (yikes!) and headed in. He is scheduled to work Mon-Fri 5am-5pm everyday. I think I would die. He seems happy though, if not a little nervous. New jobs are always a little stressful at first. He will be (or is, I suppose) driving an off-road haul truck from the mine to a reload station; O and did I mention he has no AC?

I started my job (from home, yay!) yesterday, and will be working more today after I finish here. I like blogging first thing, collecting my thoughts, then attacking my day. Perhaps this will be my new routine. Now I just need Joyous to come back and make me breakfast :)

I'm getting used to "trailer life" (sounds ridiculously glamorous does it not?), though I will be grateful when I don't have to turn on the water heater 20min before I wash my face, do dishes, shower, etc. And laundromats...hmm. I went on Monday and the machines were pretty fast, so it only took about an hour, but I still miss having a washer and dryer at home. My neighbor was there as well, so we chatted and that made the time breeze by. It's the only one in town, so I'm sure I'll meet more people as time goes by.

It's amazing, but 3 dogs, a cat, and 2 people do fit in here ok. We each have our own little spot, so it's not too bad. The dogs are (finally) getting on Pacific time and not waking up a 4am to go out, and I followed Christy's example and tossed Misu in the bathroom for the night (well for the morning really, I finally couldn't handle her crawling all over me and trying to eat my ear..she's an odd kitty).

Well, I best get to work, hope you all have a good day!

Getting cozy

I am finally getting somewhat used to our new home, so I thought I would sit down with my chai latte (from my awesome Keurig machine) this morning and write a little. Now that Brady is working and Joyous has gone home, I am left to my own devices during the day. The girls keep me busy, but at the moment, they are all napping (surely tired from waking me up and being crazy at 6:30 this morning).

Looking out my window here in lover-ly Battle Mountain, I can see over the railroad tracks and directly at about half of Main Street (actually named Front Street I think, though no one here ever actually uses road names). The background for the whole area are large brown mountains, visible in nearly every direction. They turn reddish-pruple, then flaming orange when the sun sets, and I think they are quite beautiful, if not hauntily so.

not the best illustration of my description, but an idea at least

Our next door neighbors have been incredibly nice. We did not have power when we first arrived (it finally got turned on yesterday) and they let us run an extension cord to theirs so we could run some things. They even brought us dinner the first night we were here. We brought them chocolate cake in thanks. :) Our nighbors on the other side, though not in the RV Park, are alarmingly close and...umm..well lets just say they aren't the best maintainers of their single-wide.

The immediate area is pretty rough looking, though for some reason it doesn't have that feel. In any other location, I would be afraid to walk down the street alone, but for some reason, here the piles of car parts and weed filled yards are almost quaint. Even threatening looking KEEP OUT signs are comical and actually feel welcoming. There are a few well maintained houses sprinkled in the mix, tucked away between dilapitated mobiles and leaning fences.

We have taken severl walks out into the desert, and I have to say I love the openness and the dry air. The lonely landscape is comforting to me, much more so than the claustrophobic explosion of green that is Georgia.

Day 1 Complete!

So we stopped for the night in a motel in Illinois. It's CRAZY hot ad sticky, there's actually have extreme heat warnings in place. the trailer was over 100 degrees, so it was the only real option. We had a good day of driving, everything is going smoothly, thank for all your travel prayers!! Ruby is a great little copilot, though she seems to fall asleep on the job quite a bit.










We saw a few pretty cool things, including this (sorry it's hard to see):


If you can't see it, it's a horse and buggy crossing over the overpass, pretty nifty.

We are making good time so far, but we need our rest tonight for another long day tomorrow, and apparently so does Shasta..


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Hen House Rd,Okawville,United States

Uh-oh

Well this is my first post from my phone and it's because we are on the way to Wal-mart (again) because I noticed this (see below) on the driveway as we were setting up. O joy... We think it may be transmission fluid so we are going to get a few quarts to fill 'er up.

If all goes well we will still leave tomorrow morning.


Also, I spotted this "little" guy in the garage. One of the many things I will not miss about Georgia.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Hawaiian Village Dr,Macon,United States

New Adventures

Alrighty folks, so we are headed to Nevada in less than 2 days, which is insane! We still won't be in Cali, but we will definitely be much closer. I will start my new job as soon as we get there and B will start his training for his and getting everything all firmed up. Hopefully this will be a good move for us, I think it will definitely be an adventure. My mom asked me what I would miss about GA today and (besides them and a few friends), I could not think of anything...I guess we just didn't click here (I did finally think of banana pudding, yum!).

I expect that NV will have a more western feel, wich is what we are comfortable in, but the snow and ice will be interesting to say the least. I am just super excited to be close to everyone. Amtrack tickets are about $66 each way if anyone wants to come visit! :)I plan on blogging about our trip there, which should take about 4 days. I got the blogpress app on my phone, so I should be able to post from the road. We will be staying in the camp trailer until we find a good rental; they seem pretty expensive from what we found on Craigslist, so it may be a little bit...we will have all 3 dogs and the cat with us, so I expect the trailer will start to feel pretty small fast.

Any, best wrap it up, we have a busy day tomorrow and it's getting late.